Tips on “Deep Listening”

My mom passed on these tips from Andrew Weiss on deep listening:

• Be present. Give your him/her your complete attention Be aware of what is happening inside you.
• Be open. Put aside all your assumptions about who this person is and try to listen to who they are right now. Ask questions that convey your deep concern.
• Stay aware of your emotions. Notice what happens to you when you are hearing something you find difficult or painful. Often someone’s issues will deeply touch our own. We need to recognize those feelings, breathe deeply, and release those feelings in order to continue listening with attention.
• Make space. If emotions run too high, ask for a short break. This may be painful for the other person, but tell them you will be a better listener if you take some time to let your own emotions drain out and do something to feed your compassion and love.